he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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