she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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