do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
