Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
