That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
