Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
