ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
