You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
