# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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