hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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