i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you will always have a special place in my vag
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
