At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
