Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
