Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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