somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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