Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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