It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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