He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
