Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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