And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
