You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
