I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
