I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
