Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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