You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
