I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
