Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
