Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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