you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
