But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
