Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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