I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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