yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Alive.
So much puke
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
