If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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