I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
