i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
