I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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