whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
