You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
North Korea, Best Korea!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
