so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
