i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
