I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
