We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
