Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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