While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
