Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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