You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
