hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
