There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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