just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
