So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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