I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
