and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
